Dresses and skirts

The desire to lose weight and the motivation it takes is different for everyone, and most people have more than one reason to decrease¬†that number on the scale. Being healthier and looking better are probably two of the most common reasons to wanting to reduce our mass, and, while those are two of my biggest reasons for wanting to lose weight, they¬†aren’t my only reasons. In fact, I have a wide array of reasons to drop some poundage and dresses are high on that list of reasons.

I want to wear dresses without pulling and tugging at them because I feel self conscious in them. I want to wear dresses without worrying about them looking odd and out of place because of my fat body. I want to wear pretty dresses, flowy dresses, short dresses, girly dresses and every other type of dress out there. I want to feel confident and pretty in dresses.

I even have a few dresses that I purchased at thrift stores that I am looking forward to wearing. Now, I’m not crazy, I didn’t purchase articles of clothing that don’t fit. These dresses actually do fit, but I would feel more comfortable in them after losing some weight. And since I feel so self conscious in them, I refuse to wear them. But I love them and wish I could slip them on right now and parade around in them. But I won’t, I can’t without feeling like a complete idiot.

When I wear dresses or something other than jeans and a t-shirt, I feel as though everyone is staring and thinking how I shouldn’t wear something like that. I know, I know, more than likely no one is thinking much of anything about me, I am rather forgettable after all, but I can’t shake the feeling that people are judging me because a fat girl shouldn’t wear anything pretty and should just stick to jeans and a shirt.

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I love food. Well, I love some foods. Cheeseburgers, fries and certain sweets being the most sought after. Don’t get me wrong, I like salads, vegetables and fruits, but I wouldn’t pass up a cheeseburger to have some cut up apples. And being this way makes trying to lose weight hard. I’m not going to lie though. I’m not denying myself the foods I love. I just need to eat them in moderation and up the amount of exercise I do.

I wouldn’t want to live without cheeseburgers anyway.

What about you? What foods can you not stay away from?

Being fat isn’t fun. Well, I shouldn’t speak for everyone so I’ll correct that to, being fat isn’t fun to me. Not being able to find cute clothing, not looking good in (or out of for that matter) clothes, not feeling confident, feeling gross, being unattractive, dealing with the looks of disgust from people. Yeah. I just don’t want to deal with that anymore.

You know those bigger women who have beautiful faces? Well, I’m not one of them and even at my lowest weight I wasn’t pretty. When you add ugliness on top of fatness, you get a horrible combination. And since I can’t really do much of anything about my ugliness, I decided to deal with my fatness head on.

I know I can do it because I have done it before. Going from a little over 220 down to 148 pounds.

But it’s going to be difficult, extremely difficult, because I love food and work at home at a desk, which means I get little exercise unless I make time for it. And it’s so hard to make time for it. But I’m going to try my damnedest to get down to 145 pounds. And this blog will document my failures and successes in losing weight and getting healthy.